How the Illuminati Have Fun?
The Illuminati existed once, as the Bavarian Illuminati, founded by Adam
Weishaupt in 1776, that is something we can take for granted.
After a few years, they were forbidden, if they existed further in secrecy is not confirmed, maybe they regrouped, or other people assembled under their name or not under their name but in their spirit, nobody knows for sure.
Just for reasons of simplicity, let us call every organization that is conspiring secretly for world dominion just Illuminati, whatever their name may be, is not that important.
There are a lot of people, organizations and nations, who will never be big enough, they just want to eat and eat and eat until nobody is as big as them.
But these players are acting mostly openly, their aspirations are not hidden.
Another thing is it with the Illuminati, presupposed that they exist, their area
is that of conspiracy. Conspiracies are, as is their nature, secret and
nobody really knows for sure what is going on.
This ignorance leaves space for imaginations, fantasies and theories,
some of them are just improbable, some are incredible and some are pure
fiction and totally baseless.
This article is investigating unfounded, baseless theories, from the point of
experts, who are occupied all their lives with such theories. Who could better
look into this matter than some tough, hardcore businessmen, people who’s business is conspiracy itself, to prove the nonsensical nature of some conspiracy theories?
For that, the Illuminati would be the first and best choice to explain the infeasibility of some conspiracy theories. So let’s look how the Illuminati would approach this issue!
Illuminati are pretty anti-social, but once in a while they have to meet, to do
business together and after that they hung out a little bit to boast about their
richness and their smartness to be the hidden tycoons of the world, but after that, if they boasted enough they are losing interest in it and turn to something more entertaining and that is sometimes, how could it not be, the crazy conspiracy theories that are rumoring the world.
When we zoom into such meeting, trying to get our eyes accustomed to the cigar smoke-filled room, so thick that the Illuminati are barely to see and we wait long enough till one of the Illuminati is asking his neighbor out of fun, in a tipsy voice, because of some expensive liquor, with barely hidden irony:
“How is your chemtrail business going lately, buddy?”
The asked Toni Okawenga, a tycoon of the mining and oil industry, blew out some smoke and said:
“Yeah you know, the chemtrail business was not a real project of mine, I just
looked into it, how this incredible idea that is now around for some decades
could be put into action. I considered the theory thoroughly but to spray the
earth with some mind-altering drug, is such an undertaking, that it is not
reasonable even possible to do, so I lost interest in that because of some
major obstacles, one of them is that there must be thousands of thousands
of people involved in this plot, start with the pilots, the flight attendants, the
aircraft designers, the chemical workers for producing the drugs, all the office and bank workers for ordering the chemicals and transferring money back to slush funds for buying illegal substances.
How is bookkeeping done when you don’t earn money for spraying humanity with chemicals? Which of my many companies should finance that and what I am going to tell my accountants and shareholders?
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get sprayed by my planes, do
I have to hide in a bunker because of that till the rest of my life? Another
thing are the flight attendants and the pilots how they would quarrel on the
plain about which area should be sprayed and which not. Probably it wouldn’t
matter them spraying some of their relatives, but maybe not all of them?
Besides that, all those insiders who are contributing to chemtrailing would
neither be happy to get sprayed. From the point of a successful businessman
and Illuminati of the 33 Grade, the chemtrail theory as a project is utter
nonsense, when you look closely at it, only an imbecile can believe in it.
You know, we are running this business for a long time, why should we do
chemtrailing, when humans are totally happy watching endless shows,
movies, series and sports games on the television, we are feeding them this
shit for a long time and it has the same effect as chemtrailing and
people accept that without resistance. We can say we are visually
chemtrailing people and we are successful with that because people tend to
avoid pain and boredom is some sort of pain.
Nobody want’s to get bored and feel the pain of it. So people easily accept
the drug we give them. Pain is always in the here and now and by accepting
our drug they can flee into a dreamworld we provide. But not living in the
here and now makes them weak and that is what we want. Because weak
people can be more easily manipulated than strong people. In essence, with
chemtrailing we would lose money with visually chemtrailing people we earn
I guess you, my fellow Illuminati conspirators understand the total
impossibility of the execution of this chemtrail theory. But how would you
guys do it?
There is a conspiracy theory about climate change too around,
how would you manipulate the public in this case?”
The Illuminati pondered that shortly over, then said the Illuminati of the Asia section, Suzi Wong, who got rich in overtaking the Yakuza and Triads:
“The problem here is similar, fabricating a climate change hoax, could only
work if enough scientists or media are backing you up. But scientists who are
doing environmental research, are idealists, they don’t understand the
value of money otherwise they would be wall street brokers or investment
bankers. How do you bribe idealists, they just make problems if you try and
of course how many environmental scientists do you have to bribe? A
lot of them!
Most conspiracy theorists think they know what is going on even if they have
absolutely no clue, what is going on and psychologists call that Hubris. I call
that an excrescence on the head. You know my Illuminati friends how it is, a
secret is a secret when one knows it, not when thousands know about it.We are really bad motherfuckers, but we can’t kill or bribe half of the planet,
what kind of business would sustain that? Because if you start with killing
people on that scale, it will get messier and messier. There is at least one guy who knows that something is going on and if it is only the hit men. In the end, you have to think about what you are doing with him?
All those mega conspiracy theories disregard too the question of the police, do
they know what is going on? Or do they look aside if one whistle-blower is
silenced because they are bribed?
David Robert Grimes, a British researcher, put up an equation, with it he calculated, that if the climate change would be a hoax, then it would involve 405 000 people and would be blown up after 3 years and 9 months, so he reckoned.
That has to be considered my Illuminati friends. We don’t want our businesses and lives destroyed!
By the way, who of you is running right now a conspiracy with woodchip
wallpapers? I read on the internet, that blind found out that somebody
ingrained in them The Satanic Verses from Salman Rushdie. I thought you are
more down to earth bastards for doing that!”
The Illuminati laughed loud, one spilled even almost his drink. The chief Illuminati from the North America section, Bernie Katzenstein an agile man in his seventies who had once a crush on the Illuminati of the Asia section replied:
“No, it wasn’t certainly me, I thought about that but found it too impractical.
You remember the toilet paper shortage at the beginning of the Covid19 crisis. I am admitting that I am ingraining for decades subliminal messages on toilet
paper but wasn’t aware that people were so addicted to toilet paper that they would almost go nuts without it. I didn’t think these messages would be
that important to people but they are!
Why are you asking about woodchip wallpapers? Are you worried that in your
sexy lingerie are too The Satanic Verses embroidered? Would that be an
explanation of your behavior once? But if you are too worried about it I can
have a look at it, you just have to wear them again for me!”
Suzie Wong was too old to be interested in Sex so she replied:
“Ah come on, spare me that, you have enough prostitutes for blackmailing
their clients with videos, take one of this girls, they will make you certainly
Katzenstein was in his seventies too, too old for great endeavors, but he still liked flirting:
“My Prostitutes are all busy right now, I blackmailed a dude with a video, I
have him together with a prostitute on a tape. I send him the video and
wrote that he better should shut up otherwise everybody would know.
But what is the dude doing? He wrote back, he wouldn’t shut up because of
Now I have to organize a sex party for him, I hope that will work.
The truth is that I am leading a life of an old, unhappy, power addicted men, I don’t understand how one can live without gems, gold and all extravagances money can provide, but with you, I would share my possessions.”
Suzie Wong’s heart chakra was maybe more fucked up than everybody else and she was not at all interested in a romantic liaison:
“I don’t have time for hanging out with you! Lately I got worried about my
computer security. I got too afraid that Bill Gates, the Apple or
Googles guys would intercept my communication and overtake my business,
so I switched to an operating system provided by the open-source
community, they are the only trustworthy computer guys now.
It is a shame that I, one of the mightiest individuals on this earth have to rely on the work of some freaks. All of the Illuminati joined in some Bill Gates bashing, they had all the same fears, trusting anybody was impossible to them and they found themselves to old and too inflexible to learn something about open-source, but felt they had no choice about it.
They were sure, Gates wasn’t mingling with the Covid19 crisis or tried to chip
the whole world, but it made them happy that Gates was grilled by
It was all fun and the meeting went on, but there were only crazy Illuminati
stories coming up, of no big interest to the public and there was nothing
more to listen to.
Oh, I almost forgot that the leader of the Russian and East Europe section
boasted at the end of the meeting, what kind of genius move was it for them
to establish a troll army that was around the clock dispatching fake
information on YouTube, Facebook and all other social media channels.
The Illuminati shook their heads about the gullibility of the people but agreed
that people should be held as much in confusion as could be because that would be the best for their businesses.
They thought the ideal state of mind would be if people would live in a state of helplessness and hopelessness in which they would see themselves as victims of mighty powers far above them, without any possibility to resist in any way. Deprived of all influence people wouldn’t be a thread to Illuminati business anymore so the Illuminati could thrive forever, getting mightier and mightier.
And if those old motherfuckers haven’t died to this day, they are still trying
to concoct a scheme to overthrow the whole world to get richer and mightier
and of course, trying in vain to cure their fucked up heart chakras with gold,
gems and what do I know else, without realizing that this never works for anybody, at least for some old, sad, dried up zombies.
We are right now, in the middle of a pandemic, that consists out of fake
news and conspiracy stories. It is created by confused individuals or
humans with personal or political interests to gain an advantage. If you are
interested to stop the spread and if you like my articles, then share them,
there should be enough possibilities. Thanks